


Shifting Sands

by piqtescue



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-20 13:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19378033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piqtescue/pseuds/piqtescue
Summary: Harry Potter tries to adjust to a new life; with some complications along the way





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Total AU
> 
> The typical "harry-is-adopted" trope, but he doesn't meet Ron and Hermione.

Harry sat quietly, looking at the smooth floor beneath his feet. He heard vague voices beside him, but his mind was elsewhere. 

“Harry?”

He looked up, to see Madam Pomfrey writing on a piece of parchment as Sirius stood beside her. 

“Your exam is all finished, kiddo. Want to go back home?” 

Harry’s heart fluttered at that word. Sirius had been using it since a few days ago, and Harry loved hearing it each time. He nodded, and stood up. His legs felt slightly weak still, but he knew the medicine he received would take a bit of time to kick in. 

Sirius rubbed Harry’s back for a second as they walked slowly out of the infirmary. 

“You did a really good job, Harry.” 

He smiled softly as Harry looked up at him. Harry blushed, and looked away. He wasn’t good with praise. It made him feel almost angry... but happy at the same time. It confused him. As the pair turned the corner near their quarters, Harry felt a pain shoot through his ankle. He gritted his teeth, ignoring it for the sake of not worrying Sirius. It wasn’t dire, anyways. He had been having lots of medical issues since leaving the Dursley’s. 

Once they were inside, Harry sat down, sighing in relief. He loved the feeling of safety Sirius’s home had and also the cozy aesthetic it harboured. Like the Gryffindor common room but more soft. Harry adjusted himself, feeling a throb coming on in his leg. Sirius stared at him with worry and put a bag Harry didn’t see he was carrying on the dining table. 

“We have to put cream on your legs every four hours for a few days and you have to take these.” Sirius pulled out a bottle of pills.  
“They’ll help your bones heal, and become stronger.” 

Harry blushed. He felt like such a nuisance. He nodded, though, and fidgeted with his fingers. He felt one of his “nervous moments” as he called, it coming on. Just _thinking_ about his.... illness.... put him in one of those moments. Since the night that Sirius saved him from the Dursley’s, Harry still felt like he was in constant danger. He thought that Vernon was still going to punish him for just existing, even though Sirius assured him he was never going to get out of the jail cell he was currently in. 

Sirius sat next to him on the couch. 

“What’s up, kiddo?” He asked gently, and Harry immediately shook his head.

He hated talking about his fears and memories. It made him feel like Sirius would somehow be mad at him. Sirius sat down beside him, and gently put a hand on his back. Harry didn’t flinch away from him anymore. At first, touch was hard for him but after a while, Harry melted into the comfort of Sirius when going though one of his moments. 

“Talk to me, Harry.” Sirius said softly. 

Harry took a deep breath. He was working on sharing his feelings, but it was hard. He looked up at his godfather nervously, clenching his arm roughly to distract him from his thoughts. 

“F-Feel scared....” Harry whispered. 

Sirius looked at him sadly, and brought him closer. He pulled Harry’s arms away from himself and kissed the top of his head. 

“I’m right here buddy. You’re safe.” Harry took a deep sigh, letting himself relax into Sirius’s arms. 

Sirius noticed Harry’s hair changing to light brown slightly. He knew metamorphoses could change their appearance at random times, but he only knew Harry to morph under stress. Sirius held his godson gently, thinking over ways to help Harry during these sort of moments.


	2. New Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius comes home and tries to have a discussion with Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *James and Lily died when Harry was three*   
> (didn't wanna expand on that lol now you know)

Sirius walked down the hall towards his quarters, looking over his paperwork for the next year’s classes, but lost in his thoughts. His godson had been worrying him immensely. He would barely share his thoughts despite what had happened to him, and that confused Sirius. What child could keep those horrible things to themselves? It made his heart hurt that Harry wouldn’t tell him anything. It had been almost a month since he had found Harry locked in a cupboard in the Dursley residence, and he hadn’t found out anything that had happened to him....besides what the scars on his body told him. 

He had tried everything he could to make Harry feel safe in their home and around him and Remus, but it wasn’t working as well as he had hoped. Despite being around them the year previous quite often, Harry was still extremely shy. Sirius was worried about him starting his second year, but he was glad they had about a month to let him settle in. Sirius opened the door to their home, feeling thankful he was done his day of paperwork and lesson planning. He noticed Harry sitting on the carpet, with his back turned to him. He was probably writing. He seemed to love drawing, too. They had bought him art sets and notebooks, and Harry had been drawing pictures like mad for him and Remus. Sirius adored Harry’s art. He drew a lot of scenic landscapes; often scenes depicting areas around Hogwarts. 

As he shut the door behind him, Harry jumped up. Sirius looked at him in confusion, then saw the stuffie in his hands. It was a tattered brown rabbit, that Harry had named “bunny”. He had gotten Harry it when he turned one, and Harry adored it. Sadly, it was the only item of Harry’s that made it through his time of being with the Dursley’s. 

Sirius smiled at him lovingly. He had realized since rescuing him that his young nature was more than just a personality trait. Children that were abused tended to regress from stress, or often, because their minds haven’t fully developed because of the trauma. Harry was one of those children. Sirius and Remus went over ideas on how to help Harry during those times, and Sirius was prepared. 

“What are you and bunny doing over there?” Sirius asked kindly, waking over to Harry. 

Harry backed up, gripping his stuffed animal as he stared at Sirius in fear. Sirius stopped. Harry looked so scared, and it was breaking his heart. 

“I-I was just.... cleaning out my stuff.” Harry said nervously, and Sirius frowned. 

“Harry...” He sighed sadly. “Love, you know I won’t judge you for _anything._ ” 

Harry bit his lip. He didn’t respond, and just looked away. 

“You know, when Remus and I went to Hogwarts, he had a teddy bear on his bed until we graduated. It helped him with his bad dreams.” 

Harry glanced up at him. He was fidgeting with his stuffie’s ears, clearly contemplating something. 

“It’s okay to still have a stuffie, Harry. There’s nothing wrong with it.” 

Harry grimaced. 

“W-Well I don’t need one! I’m not a stupid baby!” He said angrily, throwing his bunny on the couch and storming down to his room. 

“Harry…” Sirius followed after him, but as he reached Harry’s room, the door slammed in his face. 

Sirius sighed, trying to think of what to do. He was excited to finally be a parent; but wow, was it difficult.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been about half an hour since Harry locked Sirius out of his room. Sirius could just unlock it with magic, but he wanted to give Harry some privacy. He had been sitting in the living room, hoping Harry would come out and talk to him, but he knew that was not going to happen. He walked down the hall, and knocked on his godson’s door. 

“Harry?” 

No answer. 

“Love, I need to make sure you’re okay. I’m coming in.” 

Sirius muttered a spell and the door clicked. He slowly opened it, and looked inside. Harry was curled up in a ball on his bed, emitting small sobs. 

“Oh sweetheart, hey.” Sirius rushed over, and Harry looked up in surprise. 

“I-I sorry- w-won’t cry. Won’t be bad again.” Harry sat up, pushing the tears away from his eyes. 

Sirius tried to keep his expression soft, but the thought of how badly Vernon influenced Harry was making his blood boil. 

“You are always allowed to cry, buddy. Who told you that you couldn’t?” Sirius began rubbing Harry’s back. 

Harry bit his lip, not answering. 

“As for ‘being bad’, you certainly were not bad.” Sirius felt Harry relax slightly.

He rested his head on Sirius’s shoulder, taking a shaky breath. It was silent for a few moments, before Sirius spoke. 

“Harry, I need to talk to you about something.” 

Harry didn’t move. He just nodded slightly. 

“When I ask you something, I need you to answer honestly, though.” 

Sirius looked down to see Harry fidgeting with his fingers. He nodded again. 

“Why did you have your bunny out?” Sirius asked the question very gently, so Harry would know he was not judging him. 

Harry hugged himself around his middle. 

“W-Wanted to play with him.” 

His answer was so quiet and full of fear that it brought tears to Sirius’s eyes. 

“Did you play with bunny before you came here?” 

Harry nodded. 

“H-He made it better.” He whispered. 

“When I w-was really scared… bunny would make it go 'way.”

Sirius hugged Harry lovingly. 

“Do you remember where you got bunny?” 

Harry looked up at Sirius, shaking his head. 

“I got him for you for your first birthday. You would never let him go, not even to be washed.” Sirius chuckled. 

Harry looked away, tears threatening to spill over. He looked over at his door. 

S-Sirius?” He asked nervously. 

“Yeah kiddo?” 

Harry began to bite at his thumb. Sirius smiled sadly. Seeing him regress made him want to change the past so, so bad. If he had fought harder to clear his name, his godson wouldn’t have unimaginable horrors etched into his mind. 

“C-Can I p-please have bunny..? I-I be good, I promise.” Harry looked up at Sirius hopefully, and Sirius kissed his forehead. 

“Of _course_ you can.” Sirius watched Harry smile, and his heart swelled. 

“Can you remember something for me, though?” 

Harry nodded. 

“You are always good. No part of you is bad, okay Harry?” 

Harry put his arms around Sirius’s neck and rested his head on his chest. He nodded. 

“Let’s go see bunny now, hm?” Sirius picked up his godson, remembering how light he was.

When he had picked up out of the cupboard he had been kept in, he felt as if he was picking up a small child. The night they had rescued him, Sirius and Remus had spent hours trying to find out what Vernon Dursley had done to him. They barely found out anything besides that the only thing Harry was allowed to eat was bread, water, and occasionally vegetables. If Vernon let him. Madam Pomfrey had concluded that Harry's magic was the only thing keeping him alive. The matron had also been giving Harry nutritional supplements since he had arrived at Hogwarts, and though it was slow, it was thankfully making a difference in his weight. Remus had started to encourage Harry to make dinner with him, and it was slowly helping with his fear of eating.

When they sat down on the couch, Harry scrambled out of Sirius’s lap. He picked up his bunny and held it to his chest tightly, burrowing his face in the stuffie’s fur. Even though his voice was muffled, Sirius could hear whispered ‘I’m sorry’s’ coming from Harry and his heart melted. His godson was the sweetest kid he had ever met. 

“Bunny looks very soft.” Sirius said, smiling. 

Harry looked up at his godfather. He nodded. 

“I-I help him get dirt out of his fur lots… h-he used to sleep on the ground… l-like me.” Harry handed the stuffie to Sirius. 

Sirius ignored the urge to cry. He took Harry’s bunny, petting the soft fur. 

“You did a very good job! He’s lucky he has you.” Harry smiled as Sirius handed the stuffie back. 

Just then, Remus walked through the door. Harry jumped slightly, but instead of hiding his bunny, gripped it to his chest fearfully. Remus set his bag on the dining room table, turning to the pair on the couch. 

“Hey guys, how was-“ He stopped, and stared at Harry for a moment. His surprised expression quickly turned to love, and he walked over to Harry, kneeling down. 

“Who have you got here?” He asked, and Harry glanced at Sirius. 

He slowly held him out to Remus. 

“H-His name Bunny. Sirius got him for me when I w-was a baby.” 

Remus smiled in adoration. 

“I haven’t seen Bunny in a long time!” He said, taking the bunny gently from Harry’s hands. 

“Sirius and I missed you bunny! I’m glad your nose is still cute, I remember Sirius mentioning that when we got you.” He smiled at his boyfriend, who rolled his eyes jokingly. 

Remus handed the stuffie back to Harry. 

“How about I make dinner tonight? What do you guys think we should have?” Remus asked the pair as he walked to the kitchen. 

“Mac’roni salad!” Harry said excitedly. 

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look, both smiling. This was the happiest they had seen Harry since he was toddler. 

“Macaroni salad it is.” Remus chuckled, pulling out dishes from the cupboard. 

Sirius and Harry went back to playing with his bunny while Remus prepared dinner. Sirius realized that Harry was most comfortable when in a younger mindset, and he made note to discuss with Remus how they were going to deal with this when Harry started his second year. He wasn’t extremely worried, though; mainly happy that his godson was finally becoming comfortable after all that he went through.


	4. Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius talks to Albus about Harry's second year

Sirius Black was currently sitting in the office of Albus Dumbledore, trying not to remember all the times he was in there as a teenager. He looked behind him and smiled as Dumbledore entered. 

“Sirius, how is everything?” Albus asked, walking over to his desk. 

“Good, sir. Minerva was in here when I came in, sorry if I’m interrupting anything.” 

Albus shook his head. 

“Of course not, son. Just going over plans for next year.” 

“We getting any new professors?” Sirius asked as his old Headmaster sat down across from him. 

“A new one for Mathematics. He is from an American school, but I’m sure he’ll adapt. Maybe not to peeves, though.” 

Sirius chuckled. He looked at his lap for a moment, then looked up at Albus. He often got nervous when in his office due to all of the other times he was here before. He was often in trouble, but besides that, Albus often brought him in after hearing reports about his family. Sirius would never talk about his home life, but the one time he did, it changed his whole world. 

“I need to talk to you about Harry, sir.” 

Albus nodded, his expression becoming firm. 

“He has obviously been struggling since we… took him from that place.” Sirius gripped his hands together. 

He normally was very outspoken, and often hot-headed. But he was learning to keep his anger in check since adopting Harry, knowing he was very sensitive to other people’s emotions. 

“And Remus and I have realized that Harry has been regressing due to what happened, and I just… I don’t know what next year will be like for him.” 

Sirius sighed, putting his face in his hand. 

“I just want him to live like any other kid, but his peers… he’s already had issues with them. He doesn’t tell me much but I know he’s nervous about next year.” 

Harry hadn’t made any friends yet. He had told Sirius and Remus that some kids were nice, but he didn’t talk to anyone out of class. Around the middle of first year, Harry was beat up by a group of fifth-year Ravenclaws, and Sirius had lost it. Albus had suspended them, and gave them a month’s detention, thankfully. 

Albus nodded in understanding. 

“I was just wondering if we could help him with a more flexible schedule, like private lessons if he needed it, or less workload. I just want him to be able to go to school. I’m afraid he'll think he’s stupid if he can’t keep up with it.” 

Albus smiled kindly. 

“You’re a very good father, Sirius.” 

Sirius smiled, slightly embarrassed. He knew no one in the magic community thought he would become a parent. It even surprised him that he was doing well with the whole "new dad" thing. 

“All of that sounds just fine. What if he goes to classes a few days a week and I talk to his professor’s about cutting the tedious homework out of his lessons? We both know a lot of the homework we give is fillers.” Albus smiled.

Sirius laughed. 

“True enough.” He said. 

He stood up. “Thank you, Albus.” 

Albus nodded, also standing up. They shook hands, and Sirius walked towards the door.

“Sirius?” 

Sirius turned. 

“If Harry is ever having a hard time, remember the Room of Requirement is still there.” Albus smiled kindly. 

Sirius smiled back. “Thank you, sir.” 

As Sirius left, he thought about that. He knew his old Headmaster probably mentioned it because he knew that it had been a frequent spot of his as a kid. It was often his place of refuge, as he had no other place to calm down. Sirius was glad Harry had their home to feel safe in.


	5. Drawing Near

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the next term draws closer, Harry gets more nervous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 
> 
> The Voldemort bs happened in this AU, but he was taken down by the ministry before Harry went to Hogwarts

It was now August 20th, about a week and a half until term started. Sirius and Remus had taken Harry to Diagon Alley, and bought all new supplies for him. The Dursley’s had thrown out all of Harry’s things, including his robes. Sirius had just realized while shopping why Harry had given Remus Hedwig as a “gift” at the end of first year. It made Sirius sick that Harry had to give away his pet just so his Uncle wouldn’t hurt it. Harry’s birthday went amazing, and thankfully, was a overall calm day; they spent the whole day in the grounds, playing quidditch and muggle games. They also let Harry blow out his birthday candles at the Great Lake. 

But as Harry’s second year drew closer, he became increasingly more distraught. Sirius had found out that Harry’s main fear of the upcoming year was due to feeling small. He didn’t want to be made fun of. Sirius assured him that wouldn’t happen, but he was worried too. Harry was kind, and innocent and sadly, bullies preyed on kids like that. 

Sirius, Remus and Harry were currently sitting at the dining table, eating the pasta that Remus had made them. 

“It tastes amazing, babe.” Sirius said, voice slightly muffled by the food in his mouth. 

Remus laughed. 

“Thanks, love. Tried a new recipe Kingsley showed me. Tonks and him seem to enjoy getting together and cooking a lot now.” Remus said, smirking a bit. 

Sirius shook his head, taking a bite of his pasta.

“Course they are.” 

Remus looked at Harry, who was sitting at the other end of the table. 

“How is it honey? Do you like it?”

Harry didn’t seem to hear Remus. He kept staring absentmindedly at his plate, his arms rested lazily on the tablecloth. 

“Harry?” 

Sirius reached over to their son and touched his wrist gently. Harry flinched slightly, looking up in surprise. 

“S-Sorry.” He said quickly, looking at Remus and Sirius. 

“Remus was asking if you liked the pasta.” Sirius said. 

Harry nodded. “Y-Yes. Thank you, Remus.” 

Harry half smiled, starting to eat his food again.

“Everything all right sweetheart?” Sirius asked, looking at Harry with concern.

Harry glanced at him, nodding. He went back to eating, and Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. Remus smiled at his boyfriend, lightly stroking his wrist with his thumb for a moment. Sirius was beyond thankful he had Remus to help him through this unknown journey of parenting. He just wished he could do better for Harry; he constantly felt like he wasn’t helping him enough. Sirius had spent countless night in Remus’s arms, wondering why he couldn’t get through to his godson. Remus said Harry just needed time to adjust. He hoped he was right; Sirius feared Harry would drift away from them because of the trauma, as he had been doing for the past few weeks, but he knew that was partly his anxiety talking. 

 

**The Next Day**

 

Remus Lupin sighed as he left his office, feeling his usual “after five pm” fatigue hitting him. He had been doing lesson prep all day, without any breaks. He was happy to finally go back home. As he walked, he thought about activities him, Sirius and Harry could do. He had been researching muggle games to play indoors, but Harry seemed to not want to play anymore. There was a few weeks where Harry regressed, and very happy. Remus had played blocks with him and Harry even let Sirius read to him before bed. But a bit after his birthday, that changed. Remus hadn’t seen Harry hold his stuffed bunny in weeks, and it saddened him. He remembered being a teenager and having his teddy bear beside him while he slept. It helped with the dreams- (or memories- he really didn’t know) of the full moon. But his teddy bear helped Sirius the most. Just the thought of those collection of memories brought a smile to Remus’s face. As he neared his quarters, he heard frantic footsteps. Remus furrowed his eyebrows, and turned the corner. Suddenly, he felt a smaller body crash into his. He stumbled back, slightly startled. 

“R-Remus!” 

Remus looked at Harry in confusion as he threw his arms around him. 

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Remus asked, hugging Harry gently. 

Harry was breathing very rapidly, and Remus was worried he was having a panic attack.

“S-Scared.” Harry whispered. 

Remus rubbed Harry’s back in small, soothing circles. 

“I’m here, you’re alright.” He ran his fingers through Harry’s hair. 

“It’s okay love, just breathe.”

Harry took a shaky breath. 

“Good boy, another breath.” 

Harry did as he was told, and Remus kissed his head. 

“I’m going to pick you up, okay? Keep doing deep breaths, honey.” 

Remus picked Harry up gently, smiling slightly as Harry calmed himself down with steady breaths. They quickly reached their quarters, and as Remus walked in, he saw a frantic Sirius rushing around. 

“ _Oh my God_.” He breathed, looking over at Remus and Harry; eyes glazed over with tears.

He briskly walked over and wrapped his arms around his son and boyfriend. Remus kissed his head, knowing Sirius had had an anxiety attack. He could see it in his eyes. 

“Where did you go, love? I told you I would only be gone for a few minutes.” Sirius began stroking Harry’s hair, looking at their son with worry. 

Harry shifted slightly, biting his lip.

“G-Got scared. Tried to go find y-you or Remus.” He glanced at his parents. 

“I in trouble?” He asked quietly. 

Sirius quickly shook his head, and kissed Harry’s forehead. 

“ _Never,_ sweetie. I was just very scared, because I didn’t know where you went.”

Remus began walking into the living room, smiling down at Harry. 

“Want to read books with Sirius and I before dinner?” He suggested, earning a smile from Harry. 

“Stories!” He said excitedly. 

Remus glanced at his boyfriend, seeing the sweetest smile on his face. Remus smirked, knowing it was only ever him and Harry that made Sirius smile like that. The family of three sat down, and Sirius grabbed Harry’s basket of books that was beside the couch. 

“Which one first?” Sirius asked, showing Harry the many books in the box. 

Harry immediately pointed at the “Winnie-The-Pooh” books. 

“That one!” He said, making Sirius smile. 

They had been buying Harry both muggle and magic toys, books, and posters, but Harry seemed to enjoy the muggle type over the magic type. Sirius opened the story, and began to read aloud. Harry cuddled into Remus, listening to Sirius intently. Remus smiled, feeling his heart swell. He never thought he would become a parent due to his… illness… but he realized in that moment of holding their adopted son on his lap, that he was just like every other dad. He used to let his illness stop him from every-day things, but as soon as they got Harry, Remus promised himself to stop hiding from the world. 

He glanced at Sirius, and smiled joyfully as he watched his lover read to their son about the bear in the Hundred-Acre-Woods. Remus felt beyond blessed in that moment, wishing for nothing more than their little family of three.


	6. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's first day of second year has finally arrived

The day had come. Harry had opted out of the first dinner; wanting to start when they had a full day. He was standing in the living room, nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of his robe as Sirius packed his bag for him. Sirius hurriedly put all Harry’s textbooks he needed in his satchel, and his bagged lunch of a sandwich, a lemon tart and a juicebox in. He then picked up his schedule off the table, walking over to Harry.

“Here you go, sweetheart.” Sirius smiled at Harry as he handed him the white slip of paper. 

“Thank you.” Harry said quietly, taking his satchel and schedule from Sirius. 

Harry began walking to the door, and Sirius frowned. 

“Harry?” 

Harry turned. 

“Can I have a hug before you go?” 

Harry blushed, and stood still, looking at the ground. 

Sirius walked over and hugged his son gently, kissing the top of his head. 

“Have an awesome first day, okay?” 

Harry nodded, not hugging back or showing any expression. He turned briskly, and walked out of their quarters. Sirius stared, feeling like he was going to cry. His son was terrified, he knew it, he just didn’t know how to make that go away. Sirius prayed Harry would have a good first day; maybe even make friends. He sighed, shaking his head and trying to get into the “teaching mode”. He had a History Of Magic class to teach in 10 minutes, and he hoped despite his worry, that he would teach the first lesson well. 

********

It was almost lunch time, and Sirius walked into the great hall, smiling slightly at all the chatting kids. He hoped Harry would be in there, but he knew his son hated dealing with crowds.

“Hey, how goes the day?” Remus walked up behind Sirius, kissing his cheek quickly. 

Sirius smiled. “Okay.” 

He looked around. 

“Have you seen Harry?” 

Remus shook his head. 

Sirius frowned, and scanned the Great Hall. No sign of their son. 

“It’s alright, baby. He’s probably eating the food you packed him by the Great Lake. You know how he is with crowds.” Remus said, grabbing Sirius’s hand gently. 

“Come eat lunch with me.” He said, pulling him towards the direction of the front table. 

Sirius rolled his eyes, smirking. His boyfriend was always so upbeat- he was glad he had his good mood to calm his anxiety. 

*******

As the last class of the day ended, Sirius felt more and more anxious. He had told Harry to meet him at home after class, and he couldn’t wait to hear about his day. As he walked to his quarters, he heard rushed footsteps behind him. He turned, seeing a flushed Harry running up to him. 

“Sir’us!” He said excitedly. 

“Hey kiddo!” Sirius smiled happily, seeing the expression on Harry’s face. 

“How was your day?” Sirius asked as he hugged him. 

Harry beamed. 

“H-Had a good day! D-Did new spells in transfiguration _a-and_ I learned a spell in charms!” He said, and Sirius rubbed his shoulder as he led him inside. 

“That’s great, sweetie! You should show Remus and I when he gets home.” 

As they both put their bags on the table, Harry looked towards his room nervously. Sirius noticed, but waited for him to speak. He didn’t, though, and just sat on the couch, grabbing his textbook out of his bag before he did. He began reading, and Sirius looked at him with a puzzled expression. He was glad Harry wanted to study, but he had already been doing that for hours. Just then, Remus entered. 

“Hey guys.” He said, smiling tiredly. 

“Did you have a good day, love?” Remus asked Harry as he walked into the living room. 

“Y-Yeah! Learned new spells!” He said happily. 

Remus beamed. “Did you? That’s awesome!” He said, sitting beside Harry. 

Sirius watched as Harry turned his head towards his room again. Remus noticed too, and shared a look with Sirius. 

“How about we play a game before dinner, hm?” Remus asked, standing up. 

Harry nodded happily. 

“B-Blocks?” He asked, and Remus chuckled. 

“Sure, sweetie. I’ll go grab them.” Remus disappeared to Harry’s room, and Sirius sat down next to their son. 

“I’m so happy you had a good day, Harry.” He kissed the side of his head. 

Harry blushed. 

“I-I made a friend today, too!” He said. 

Remus came back and set the box of blocks on the carpet. 

“Oh?” Sirius asked, feeling even more elated. 

Harry apparently was bullied a lot during his elementary years. He had shared with Remus and Sirius that he feared other students would see him as a freak, as the kids did in his muggle school. Sirius tried to alleviate Harry’s social anxiety by telling him that kids in the wizarding world were more open to differences than muggle kids, and even though that was partly true, Sirius _also_ knew that it was hard to grow up in a wizarding school, due to the firm cliques of their houses and the drama that followed that. 

“Who’s your new friend?” Sirius asked. 

“His name is Draco! He’s in Slytherin and loves Charms class too!” 

Sirius felt his heart plummet. He looked at Remus, sharing a look of surprise. 

It was Remus to recover first. 

“That’s great, honey!” Remus said, forcing a smile. 

Sirius couldn’t believe Harry’s _first_ friend at school was his bitch of a cousin’s son. The Malfoy family was known for their loyalty to the Dark Lord, but since he had perished, Sirius had heard rumors that they had been doing other business that dealt with dark magic. He was so happy he left home when he did; sometimes he thought he would have ended up like his brother. He hated his bloodline with a passion, besides Tonks, who he loved like a sister, and her mother, who was always kind to him. Draco hadn’t had mishaps in school yet, but Sirius still was wary of him. He hoped to _God_ that Draco wouldn’t get Harry into any trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 
> 
> I can finally fulfill my long-lost love for Drarry lol
> 
> here we go fam


	7. Breakfast issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Draco attempt to sit together at the Slytherin table.

Harry walked into the Great Hall for the first time since the previous year, and felt his anxiety skyrocket. He wanted to try to be normal for once, but it didn’t seem to be working. 

“Harry!” 

Harry turned his head as he heard a familiar voice call his name. He felt a smile tug at his lips as he saw Draco Malfoy, his new friend, and strangely, first friend ever, waving him over to the Slytherin table. 

Harry walked over quickly. 

“H-Hi.” He said quietly, smiling at Draco. 

“You almost missed pancakes, sit!” Draco said jokingly. 

Harry sat next to him, putting his satchel beside him. He had never sat at the Slytherin table before; it was a weird experience. As he looked up, he saw many Slytherin’s staring him down. He had been still trying to cope with the rumors about him, and all the stares to do with the fact he was “The-Boy-Who-Lived”, and didn’t like he was now being stared at because he was Draco’s friend. It was now the second month of school, and the two of them had been being talked about among the Hogwarts students quite frequently. It was a rarity to see a Gryffindor and a Slytherin be friends, and that made Harry sad. He didn’t see why they were that different of houses, besides the history Draco’s house has with dark magic. 

“To be honest, the elves make better food than my Mum.” Draco said, putting a few pancakes on a plate for Harry. 

Harry thanked him, but as he went to grab the syrup that was near a student named Gregory Goyle, the boy snatched it from him. Goyle was surprisingly fit for a second year- and also had a mean face. Harry grimaced, trying not to feel intimidated.

“So we just letting weird Gryffindor’s sit with us now, Draco?”

Harry felt a pit in his stomach form. He went to get up, and grabbed his satchel. Goyle smirked. 

“Goyle- What the f-“ Draco turned as Harry left the table.

“Harry- Wait!” Draco rushed out of his seat. 

Harry walked briskly, and vaguely heard Goyle say something to Draco. 

“Get fucked Goyle!” Draco called back. 

Harry could hear Draco following him as he rushed out of the great hall, and he wished he wasn’t. He was a freak; Draco shouldn’t have to be friends with a freak. 

“Harry, wait, please!” Draco said desperately. 

Harry felt like he was close to a panic attack. He wished for his nerves to calm down, not wanting the only friend he had to see him be weird and leave him. 

Harry reached the outdoor corridors, and suddenly felt a hand on his arm. He turned, surprised by the contact. 

“G-Go away.” Harry said as Draco went to speak. 

Draco furrowed his eyebrows, a hurt expression on his face. 

“You shouldn’t have to be friends with me. I-I’m a freak.” Harry felt tears spill over his eyes and he sighed angrily, pushing them away. 

“What? Harry, you are not a freak. Did one of those assholes tell you that?” Draco asked protectively. 

Harry shook his head. 

“N-No, I j-just am!” He turned away, beginning to cry more. 

“Hey, come here.” Draco said softly, pulling Harry into his arms.

Harry’s heart fluttered. He thought he would have been scared of physical contact from others, but having Draco hold him was weirdly calming. 

“Fuck those guys, okay?” 

Harry smirked. He was sure he had only sworn twice in his life- but Draco; he was a walking explicit label on a music record. 

“I love my house, and there’s cool people in it, but the majority of them suck. So fuck them.” 

Harry laughed, pulling apart from Draco. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Draco smiled at him. 

“From now on, how about we eat at your table? You guys seem like you’re having a better time, anyways.” Draco said, looking jealous for a moment. 

Harry knew they were sorted based on who they are, and Draco was very ambitious, but he wasn’t cunning and he wasn’t an asshole. It seemed the majority of the Slytherin’s were the latter. Harry was sad Draco wasn’t in his house. Not like he spent much time in his common room, though. Harry had liked the feeling of living in his dorm, but after leaving the Dursley’s, he had immediately said yes to Sirius when he had asked Harry if he wanted to live with him and Remus. 

“Okay.” Harry said, smiling at Draco. 

Draco rubbed his shoulder for a second. 

“Now let’s go finish those pancakes; but with the _cool_ kids.” 

Harry rolled his eyes. 

“Shut up.” He said, smiling. 

Draco grinned, walking with Harry back to the Great Hall.


	8. Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Draco enjoy a moment by the oak tree

Harry and Draco sat against an Oak tree in the far part of the grounds, enjoying the fall weather. Draco was reading a book about some muggle knight, and Harry was drawing. Remus had recently gone to Hogsmeade and bought him pastels, and he _loved_ them. Harry was currently drawing Hagrid’s hut, which they could see in the distance. He paused as he saw Draco look at his drawing out of the corner of his eye; blushing slightly. 

“I really like your art.” Draco said softly, smiling at Harry. 

“Th-Thanks.” Harry replied, his wrist shaking slightly. 

He recently had been trying to get used to compliments. Harry had a feeling Draco sensed he was insecure, and that’s why he was always so quick to give him praise. Harry suddenly felt his hair changing color from the nerves. He hoped Draco wouldn’t notice, but that was impossible, as it was going blue between strands. 

“Harry, what-“ Draco stared in surprise at Harry’s head. 

Harry put his head down, biting his lip. Being a Metamorphmagus was one of his traits that made him feel like a freak. 

“Wait, are you a Metamorphmagus?” Draco asked excitedly. 

Harry looked up in confusion. 

“W-Why do you sound happy?” He asked quietly. 

“What do you mean?! That is the _coolest!_ ” Draco stared at Harry’s hair as it faded back to black. 

Harry smiled, now really blushing. No one really knew of his weird ability, and he thought if people found out they would have made fun of him. Maybe they wouldn’t, or maybe Draco was different. Harry didn’t really care. He just enjoyed the momentary feeling of being accepted.


	9. Halloween Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco makes Harry a present for Halloween

Draco Malfoy sat on his bed, drawing furiously. It was almost time for the Halloween Dinner in the Great Hall, and he was trying to make Harry a gift. He couldn’t draw for shit, but he hoped his friend would like it. Harry had recently shared with him that it was Halloween night nine years ago when his parents had been killed. It made Draco extremely sad that a night that was supposed to be lots of fun was a hard time for Harry, so he had tried to brainstorm ideas to make it a better night, and he came up with drawing something for some reason. 

Draco was surprised he even made a friend this year, since he had barely talked to anyone the previous year. His peers didn't mind him but the majority of people in his house that were above third year tended to pick on him. Not like Draco cared; no one in this world could make him feel worse than his father does. Draco took out a blue pencil crayon, highlighting the water in his picture. He was trying to replicate what Harry drew of the Great Lake one evening, but he was losing faith in how it looked. Basically, it was scribbles and lines and definitely not the shaded, picturesque drawing Harry had done. He finished up, and hurried downstairs. It only took him a few minutes to get to the Great Hall. When he saw Harry, his nerves kicked in as he held the picture tightly against his chest. 

“Happy Halloween!” Harry said happily, running up to the Great Hall doors, where Draco was standing. 

“R-Remus also got some sweets when he got me those pastels, I wanted you to have them.” Harry smiled at Draco, holding out a few pumpkin pasties and a bag of jelly slugs. 

Even though they had only known each other for two months, Draco could read Harry very well. He was smiling, but Draco saw that his eyes were vaguely red from crying. He hoped his picture would cheer him up; despite how bad it was.

Draco laughed. “Thanks, my favorite too.” 

He took the candy, and nervously held out the drawing he was holding to Harry. 

“For you. I, uh, made it.” Draco looked away, feeling embarrassed. 

Harry beamed. 

“You made me a picture?! Th-Thank you Draco!” Harry swung his arms around his neck, hugging the taller boy happily. 

Draco chuckled, hugging him back. He looked ahead at the Professor’s tables and saw that Harry’s parents were watching him. He parted from Harry, smiling. He knew he had to meet his parents, but had been putting it off in fear they wouldn’t like him. He knew Sirius would automatically think bad of him, seeing as they were family and their family wasn’t…. the easiest to be in. And Remus, would just know that Draco was rotten. At least that’s what Draco’s father had told him in an angry howler one morning at breakfast when he had found out Draco was hanging out with “the Potter boy”, as he put it. That, so far, was one of Draco’s worst day’s at Hogwarts. 

“How ‘bout you introduce me to your Dad’s?” Draco suggested, walking with Harry into the Great Hall. 

Harry blushed, but nodded. Draco knew what had happened to Harry, and why he was now living with Remus and Sirius, but he hadn’t told him he knew. His father had come home one day in the summer, with an “absolutely funny story” about Harry’s muggle Uncle getting sentenced in the dual magic-muggle court for abusing Harry and keeping him locked in a cupboard. He had gone on a rant to Draco’s mother about how Harry’s claims of abuse were bullshit, and how he was going to turn out just as pathetic as the “traitor” and the “the half-breed”, as he called Sirius and Remus. As Draco and Harry walked up to the front tables, he tried to look as respectful as possible. He didn’t want Harry’s parents to dislike him. 

“S-Sirius, Remus?” Harry asked, looking up at his parents. 

Draco felt relieved as Sirius smiled at him. 

“You must be Draco.” Sirius walked down the few steps to the dining area and shook Draco’s hand. 

“I don’t think you’re in any of my classes.” 

Draco shook his head. 

“No sir. My mother really wants me to take History of Magic next year, though. It was her favorite class.” Draco laughed nervously. 

“You’re doing very well in Defense Against The Dark Arts, Draco. Have you practiced for the test next week?” Remus asked, walking down the steps. 

Draco nodded. 

“Yes sir. I can do it perfectly.” He blushed.   
“Ah, hopefully perfectly.”

Remus smiled. 

“I bet you can; I heard you and Harry have been studying a lot.” 

Draco nodded. 

“It was good to finally meet you, Draco. You should come over for dinner; Harry is almost a better cook than Remus now.” Sirius said, making Remus roll his eyes. 

“Thank you, Professor.” Harry waved to his parents, tugging Draco’s arm in the direction of the Gryffindor table. 

“Do you think they liked me?” Draco asked as they sat down. 

“Of course they liked you. Why wouldn’t they?” Harry asked. 

Draco glanced at him, then at the table. 

Harry must have known what he was thinking, because he put his hand on Draco’s arm for a moment. 

“Sirius doesn’t care who you’re related to. He’s related to the same people, Draco.” 

That didn’t seem to settle Draco’s worry. 

“He knows you’re a good person, because I talk about you all the time.” 

Draco raised his eyebrows. “Really?” 

Harry blushed, looking away. 

“Yeah, I mean, you _are_ my best friend.” He chuckled nervously. 

Draco felt his heart swell. Neither of them had established the “best friend” level yet. 

“You’re mine, too.” Draco said, smiling as he lightly nudged Harry. 

Harry returned the smile, and began to fill his plate.


	10. Two Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jumping ahead two years; Sirius reflects on Harry's life.

*Two years later*

Sirius sat in the Great Hall one morning at breakfast, watching his son playfully argue over at the Gryffindor table with his friends. Sirius and Remus had shed so many happy tears over how far their son had come; he finally shared his feelings with Sirius and Remus, and hadn’t felt the need to regress since his second year. Sirius wondered if it was Draco that sparked Harry’s drive to health or if it was just him growing up. He couldn’t believe his son was 14- it almost made him sad that he was growing up so fast. The last two years had been a ride, but in a different concerning way. 

Sirius felt Harry had gotten some of James’s more…. mischievous traits, and he was right. Harry had countless detentions so far, mostly from sneaking out past curfew or playing pranks on the Slytherins, which him and his friend of almost a year, Viola, loved to do. Sirius couldn’t judge him or give him shit too hardly, though. He was doing the same things as a teenager. 

“Bullshit!” Harry’s voice rang across the mostly empty Great Hall. 

“Potter- Watch your tongue!” Snape scolded, as he sat next to Remus at the front table. 

“Sorry, professor!” Harry called, laughing slightly as he bent down towards his friends. 

Sirius chuckled. Harry was a handful as he grew up, but he didn’t expect any less from James’s son. He was a rebel himself, but James was on a whole new level. Sirius hoped his best friends would be proud of how Remus and him were raising Harry. James had always joked to Sirius about how he was certain him and Remus would someday have their own kids; little did they know, it would be Jame’s son they were raising. 

Sirius tried not to think about what happened to his best friends, but it was hard. It was even harder he was charged with their murder up until Harry’s first year. In Azkaban, the Dementors sucked so much life out of him he had begun to think he really _did_ murder his friends. He remembered seeing his cell door open, and the ray of sunshine that was Remus Lupin enter, telling him he was taking him home. Since then, Sirius had gained back all the light the Dementors took from him, thanks to his boyfriend, his son, and the school that became his home when he was just fifteen. Sirius looked up as Harry stepped up to the front table. 

“Were gonna go to Hogsmeade at lunch, want me to pick you up anything?” Harry asked, putting his satchel strap over his left shoulder. 

Sirius smiled. “Remus will probably want sweets.” 

Remus smirked. 

“I _will,_ but then you’ll go and eat them.” 

Harry laughed. “Okay, double the sweets. Got it.” 

He waved to his parents. 

“I’ll see you guys at dinner!” He said, running up to his friends who were walking out of the Great Hall. 

Sirius smiled at his son as he watched him leave, feeling more and more proud of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk man I get bored writing about 12 year olds


	11. Party Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and his friends plan a party

“-think about it; we will throw the best party Hogwarts has ever seen and go down in history.” Viola Richmond said, grinning as the five friends sat around a notebook labelled “planning.” It was the notebook that had all of the blueprints and notes for their pranks, but this time, they were planning a party.

“The only problem is which common room to throw it in and how to get the Prefects to agree.” Draco said, and looked at Harry. 

He suddenly smiled. 

Harry glared at him. 

“No.” He said flatly. 

“Come on, Harry!” Draco said, pulling on Harry’s sleeve.

Harry huffed. “Mcgonagall will kill me if she finds out we threw a party in the common room.” 

Justin Finch-Fletchey, one of the rougher Hufflepuffs, chimed in. 

“But if she doesn’t, we just made a pretty great name for ourselves.” He grinned.

"Very true." Tony Goldstein said, crossing his arms and smirking.

Harry rolled his eyes. If he was honest, he really _did_ want to throw the party in his common room, but he was nervous that his parents would be angry. 

“Fine.” He said.

Draco patted his back. 

“Fuck yeah, I love you, Harry!” 

Harry chuckled, opening up their notebook. It made his chest tingle every time Draco said that. He knew it was in a friend way, but Harry had recently started to think of him in a different way. He had thought about relationships and dating since first year, but was sickened at the idea because of what had happened to him. It was only this year that Harry realized he was actually able to feel that sort of love. 

**** 

The week before the party, Harry had entered the common room and was greeted by hollering. 

“The Saviour Seeker!” A boy named Daniel called from the couches. 

Harry blushed, smiling shyly. He had just joined the Quidditch team the previous year, and was apparently the best seeker in the books besides his father, who had become a seeker in his third year too, after abandoning the role of Chaser. They had just won their last game before playoffs, thanks to what Harry called luck, but his teammates called genius. The snitch had literally slipped into his hand as he tried to go grab the head of his broom. 

“Good on ya, buddy.” Harry’s Prefect, Quinn Waron, patted him on the back as he stepped into the common room. 

“Thanks, man.” Harry chuckled. 

As Quinn went to walk away, Harry touched his arm. 

“I wanted to ask you something.” Harry said, suddenly feeling nervous. 

Quinn raised his eyebrows. 

“Was wondering if we could have a party in here- only specific guests though. There hasn’t been one since second year Quidditch playoffs, and I was just thinking…” 

Quinn smirked. 

“Same here, man. I was just not into planning it.” Quinn said, and nodded over to Zoe, the other Gryffindor prefect. 

“Zoe’s down too, but were going to have to go through a strict plan so Mcgonagall doesn’t find out.” 

Harry nodded. 

“So, multi-house? When we having it?” Quinn asked.

“Next week after curfew. Probably not a lot of Slytherin’s though, probably just Draco and Viola.”

Quinn thought for a moment. 

“We’ve got a couple other good Slytherin mates; mind if they come?” 

“Course. You’re the Prefect.” Harry said, laughing. 

Quinn rolled his eyes. 

“Mhm hm.” He put his arm around Harry’s shoulder’s, turning him to face their peers. 

“Oi! Potter’s throwing a rager next week!” He called out. 

The Gryffindor students erupted into cheers, and Harry laughed shyly. As the commotion died down, Quinn patted him on the back again. 

“You goin back home now, or you wanna stay for a bit?” 

Harry nodded. “Sure, yeah.” 

Quinn smiled, and walked with him over to the couches. Harry sometimes wished he lived in the common room with his peers, but he liked living with Sirius and Remus. It felt safe. And calm. And that’s all Harry had wanted in his life; he felt so thankful he finally had that sort of stability.


	12. Bathroom Prep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang gets ready in the second floor lavatory

The night of the party had come. The gang of five were currently in the girl’s lavatory on the second floor; also Moaning Myrtle’s haunting grounds. Draco and Tony were sitting on the counters, sharing a spliff, and Harry and Justin were fixing their hair. Well, Harry was fixing his hair. Justin was drowning his in hairspray. Viola was obsessing with another outfit. All five of them _really_ wanted to make a good impression for their first party.   
It was currently 8:30; so they had thirty minutes to get ready and sneak into the Gryffindor common room successfully. Harry had expertly gotten through Sirius’s ward alarms, which he had started to set at night so he could catch Harry sneaking out. Sirius’s wards were usually really simple, but he knew his Godfather would get more craftier if Harry was caught.

“How do I look?” Viola asked, coming out of the third stall. 

“Vi, you look great. If you try on a different outfit again, I will throw a fit.” Justin said, looking at her through the mirror. 

Viola glared at him, walking up to the bathroom counter. She started to brush her wavy brown hair, wincing as she hit knots. Harry stared at her, thinking. He always thought he would have been attracted to Viola if anyone. She had been his best friend besides Draco since around the middle of second year. Viola had made a name for herself from the endless pranks she had played on her Head of House, but lately, she was sadly often the victim of inappropriate gawking. Harry, unlike the other males in his year, was transfixed on her bright green eyes and rebellious way about her.   
First time him and Viola met was when she was running from Snape after letting a bunch of toads loose in his office. Harry had crashed into her, and after hearing Snape’s angry yells from around the corner, pulled her into one of Filch’s broom closets. 

Viola smirked at Harry.

“Like what you see, Potter?” She said jokingly, making Harry blush. 

“Fuck off.” He laughed. 

Harry saw Draco frown out of the corner of his eye, but he brushed it off as nothing. 

Suddenly, Moaning Myrtle floated out of one of the stalls. 

“That’s going to kill you, you know!” She spat, frowning in disgust as she hovered in front of Tony.

“Your bitching will kill me faster.” Tony retorted, making Myrtle stick her tongue out at him and go back in the stall.

Tony laughed.

“Hey Harry, want a hit of this?” He asked, holding out the spliff to Harry. 

Harry looked at the badly rolled spliff. His friends often smoked tobacco or weed, even both; like now. But he never had. He wanted to try it, he was just scared of it making him have a bad reaction. 

“Sure.” Harry said, without another thought. 

He took it, and put it to his lips. 

“Harry, wa-“ Draco held out his hand to stop him, but Harry had already breathed in. 

He coughed loudly, and Justin laughed. 

“Pansy.” He said. 

Harry hit Justin’s arm playfully. He glanced up at Draco and saw him looking at him with concern, and he frowned. 

“What?” 

Draco grimaced. 

“You’ve never smoked weed or cigarettes before.” 

_"And?”_ Harry asked, slightly annoyed. 

“I just thought we should have talked about it cause like… you know…” Draco trailed off. 

Harry felt his heart clench. He had recently since third year been slowly telling Draco about his mental illness, and his best friend was supportive as ever, except in this moment of mentioning it in front of their friends. Harry glared at Draco angrily. Draco grimaced, looking away from Harry. 

“Okay, let’s cut the awkward silence and get going.” Tony said, hopping down off the counter. 

“Take a few more hits off that; gotta put it out before we go.” He said to Harry as he put his brown leather jacket on. 

Harry took a couple more drags off the spliff, and handed it to Tony, who put it out on the counter. The group dispersed, and Harry made it a plan to not look at Draco.


	13. Party Mishap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party doesn't go as well as they planned

Draco Malfoy looked around the room, squinting his eyes as if that would help his drunk vision. He had lost track of Harry in the crowd of people about ten minutes previous, but he had seen him having fun up until he lost him, so that calmed him a little. He felt bad he had offended Harry earlier that night and wanted to make it better- but every time Draco had tried to talk to him throughout the night, Harry had avoided him. He was worried about Harry. His best friend was acting out more. Like smoking weed and getting into way more trouble with Viola than they ever did before. Draco loved Viola, but he was worried she was leading Harry down a wrong path. He knew Viola was into other substances besides weed, and that concerned Draco.   
Draco had also been having a bit of an issue with thinking of Harry as more than a friend. He knew it was okay to be gay, but his father had drilled it into him that it was disgusting and wrong, and sometimes, Draco thought of himself too that way when it came to wanting to act on his sexual orientation. But he _couldn’t_ be attracted to girls. He had tried. _Many_ times. The only person that made him feel like he was having a mini heart attack was Harry. And that confused the shit out of him. Draco sighed, looking around for Harry once more. As Quinn Waron stumbled past him, Draco grabbed his arm. 

“Quinn, there’s almost a hundred kids in here. What happened to the fucking guest list?” Draco asked, and Quinn shrugged. 

“I don’t know, mate. It’sa good time though, hey?” He laughed, and offered Draco his bottle of Firewhiskey. 

Draco pushed the bottle back, shaking his head. 

“I’m good, thanks. Have you seen Harry?” Quinn pointed to the armchairs by the window, snorting in amusement. 

Draco felt his heart plummet. Harry was sitting in one of the armchairs, snogging some random Hufflepuff girl. Draco felt like he was about to cry until he saw Harry’s body language. The girl- Draco only knew as someone who was in his Herbology class- was glued to Harry. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and she was basically pushing herself onto Harry. Harry had his arms at his sides, eyes scrunched up in either pain or panic. Draco watched as Harry suddenly pushed her off, making her stumble back against the armchair. He darted through the crowd, running towards the Common Room doors. 

“Harry!” Draco called, but the music was too loud for his voice to be heard. 

Draco rushed out after Harry, and saw his best friend collapse on the ground at the bottom of the staircase, beginning to hyperventilate. 

“Harry, it’s okay!” Draco dropped to his knees as Harry held his to his chest and began rocking back and forth. 

He shook his head repeatedly. 

“No, no, no, no….” Harry begun to cry. 

“I’m here, Harry. You’re alright, you’re safe.” Draco knew Harry was having a panic attack, and he racked his brain of things that might help him. 

“Can I hug you Harry?’ Draco asked, and Harry shook his head. 

“No! Harry bad… bad boy…” 

Draco frowned. He suddenly remembered Harry confiding in him about the habit he used to have. Harry apparently regressed to a younger age when in distress, but said it hadn’t happened in a while. Harry had finally opened up to Draco about what had happened before he came to live with his parents, and Draco had pretended not to know. 

“That’s not true.” Draco said, and went to go put his hand on Harry’s arm. 

Harry flinched, and tightened his grip around himself. He began to try and rip tufts of hair of his head, and Draco cried out, trying to stop him. 

Just then, Mcgonagall marched up to the pair. 

“Draco Malfoy, is there a-“ She stopped upon seeing Harry. 

“P-Professor, I-I don’t know what to do!” Draco cried. 

Harry had successfully ripped out a few strands of hair, and that was all it took for Draco to break. Mcgonagall kneeled down, resting a hand on Draco’s shoulder. 

“Did he drink?” She asked. 

Draco nodded. “A-And smoked… stuff.” He said, blushing. 

Mcgonagall sighed. She quickly muttered the spell for her Patronus, and a small tabby cat leaped out in a form of white mist, bounding down the hall. 

“It’s getting Harry’s parents.” Mcgonagall said, and leaned into Harry. 

“Harry, it’s Professor Mcgonagall. You’re safe here. You’re at Hogwarts.” She spoke so softly, a tone Draco had never heard her use. 

Harry cried out, shaking his head. 

“Draco is here too, Harry. He is very worried.” 

Harry suddenly looked up, tears clouding his eyes. He put his arms out towards Draco desperately. Draco felt his heart melt as he picked up Harry and held him in his lap. He never realized how light his best friend was. 

“Professor Mcgonagall and I are here, love. You are totally safe, okay?” 

Harry snuggled against Draco, taking shaky breaths. 

Draco had thought about what to say to Harry if he was ever in this situation, and so far, his words were calming Harry down. He had always wanted to use endearing names with Harry, but he didn't think this is how the first try would go. The three of them looked out in the corridor as they heard rushed footsteps. 

“Minerva, what the fuck happened?” Remus asked, rushing towards his son. 

“I think that’s for Draco to tell.” Mcgonagall said, looking at Draco sternly. 

“I must go, as I have a party to disrupt.” She went into the Gryffindor common room, slamming the portrait door behind her. 

Draco looked up at his Professors, and began to _really_ cry. 

“I-I’m sorry! I tried to watch him- b-but-" Draco took a breath.   
"-he got scared and left a-and I didn’t know how to help him a-and he ripped his hair o-out.” Draco stuttered, and Sirius bent down. 

He looked at his son’s hair on the ground, and frowned. Draco cried harder. He felt completely responsible for Harry having a panic attack. 

“Son, it’s alright.” Sirius said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

He smiled softly. 

“You aren’t in any trouble. You made sure he was safe, and I’m very happy you did, Draco.” 

He held out his arms, signalling to give Harry to him. As Draco went to move him into his Godfather's arms, Harry cried out and clung to him.

“N-No! No leave!” Draco watched as Harry’s parents exchanged a look. 

Sirius sighed, patting Draco’s shoulder. 

“Why don’t you come for a cuppa, Draco? We can talk about what happened.” He said, standing up. 

Draco nodded. He stood up easily, despite holding Harry, and carried his best friend back to his quarters; his worried Professors by his side


	14. A Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Sirius have a talk a few hours after Draco helps him back to his quarters

Sirius sat beside his son and Draco after he finished talking to Remus briefly. His wards had failed and his son was too smart for him; that he was pissed about, but he was more so concerned that their son had regressed for the first time in two years. Remus told Sirius not to worry so much, that they would sort it out, and began to make tea. Harry turned his head as he noticed his Godfather, and looked at him with guilt. 

“Do you wanna talk about it honey?” Sirius asked, rubbing Harry’s back for a moment. 

Harry shook his head. 

“Can Draco tell us what happened?” Harry shook his head again. 

Sirius noticed Draco grimace. 

“Do you want anything to help you feel better?” Sirius asked gently, and Harry nodded. 

“I sleepy.” He whispered. 

Sirius smiled at his son. 

“I’ll tuck you in, hm?” He asked, holding out his arms to Harry. 

Harry looked at Draco for a moment and hugged him briefly before going into Sirius’s arms. 

“Have a good sleep, Harry.” Draco said softly as Sirius carried him into his room. 

Sirius walked into Harry’s room and tucked him into bed. He picked a book to read to Harry, assuming he would need a story to fall asleep, but as he sat down beside Harry, he realized he was out cold. 

***** 

The next day was Saturday, and many detentions were being attended. Hungover teenagers from each house grudgingly pulled themselves out of bed at seven am, and reported to their Head Of House. Besides Harry. He hadn’t gotten out of his room yet, in fear his parents would hurt him. Deep down, Harry knew he wasn’t thinking logical, but he had felt his mind go into another zone the previous night, and he couldn’t reverse it. He felt mixtures of shame and guilt bubble in his chest, and the more it brooded, the more he wanted to cry. He didn’t prepare himself for what he did last night, and it ended up terrifying him so badly his flashbacks had returned. Harry hadn’t had a flashback since his second year, and the amount of shame it gave him was unimaginable. Suddenly, Harry heard his door open. 

“Hey love, I brought you some water.” Sirius smiled at him, but Harry felt alarms ringing in his head. 

He shuffled back towards his headboard, pulling his blankets around him. He saw his Godfather look at him with confusion. 

“I-I’m sorry…” Harry said quietly. 

“For what, love?” Sirius asked, sitting beside him as he put the glass of water on Harry”s nightstand. 

Harry felt an urge to crawl into Sirius’s arms, but he was wary due to the feeling in his chest. 

“For b-being bad. P-Please don’t hurt me. I-I be good.”

Harry saw Sirius frown, and he started to cry. He knew he deserved to be punished, but he didn’t want to be anymore. 

“Sweetie, why would I hurt you?” Sirius asked, sounding confused. 

Harry pulled the blanket tighter around him. 

“Baby, are you having a flashback?” Sirius asked, putting a hand on his back. 

Harry didn’t flinch away. He stared at Sirius, surprised by the nickname. But for some reason, it made him feel safe. Harry nodded, and Sirius held his arms out. Harry scrambled into them, taking a shaky breath of relief. 

“I’m here Harry. You’re safe.” Sirius said, kissing his son’s head as he snuggled into his chest. 

Harry cried loudly, letting out the pain from the previous night. He didn’t want that to be his first kiss. He wanted to kiss someone he _loved_ for his first time. Harry shivered as he remembered the random girl he kissed had been on top of him. He held onto Sirius tightly, not liking the feeling that memory gave. 

“Draco told me what happened, love.” Sirius said softly. 

Memories of last night suddenly came flooding back. He had forgotten about crying in his best friend’s arms and being taken home by him. He _definitely_ didn’t remember telling Draco what he had done, though. 

“I-I didn’t tell Draco anything about what happened.” Harry said, pulling away from Sirius. 

“He was looking for you and saw you snogging a girl.” 

Harry blushed madly. He looked away, feeling shame at the bottom of his stomach. He felt like a whore again. That word sat so deeply in his brain, he knew it was only a matter of time before he acted on it again. Sirius put a hand on his arm. 

“And that’s totally okay. He said you got scared though, and had a panic attack.” Sirius said. 

Harry sighed, and pushed away his tears. 

“I-I didn’t like it. A-And after a few seconds, i-it felt like how it did with... _him_ a-and I felt like I wasn’t allowed to stop it.” Harry said quietly. 

Sirius brought him back into his arms. 

“That sounds very scary. I’m sorry that happened last night, baby.” 

Harry felt that strange feeling come over him again. He didn’t know why he liked being called that, and it confused him. But it made him feel even calmer, and he sighed softly. He was still so sleepy, as he had gotten home at 1 am and it was now 7 am. 

“You need to drink some water before you go back to sleep.” Sirius said, grabbing the glass for him. 

Harry thanked him quietly and gulped down the whole glass; feeling surprisingly thirsty. Sirius smiled softly at him, putting the glass back on the nightstand. 

“Want me to stay?” He asked, looking down at Harry, who was now fidgeting with the paint marks on Sirius’s shirt. 

Sirius had a habit of wearing muggle graphic t-shirts on the weekends and it always amused Harry and Remus. Harry nodded. Sirius settled them into Harry’s bed, and began rubbing his back, getting him to sleep almost as fast as the night previous.


End file.
